Isaura's Journey

Mom passed away

2011-11-14T00:06:00.000-05:00

My beautiful mother passed away peacefully in my arms Nov.8th

Money more important than MOM

2011-09-26T23:52:00.000-04:00

What can I really say

I will not STOP till she is with me

Seems Cancer has come back

2011-05-11T15:57:00.000-04:00

Another day....another surprise, not one of the good surprises
Seems Cancer has returned and I am not a happy camper
More doctor appointments, more questions

Stress

2011-03-06T22:51:00.000-05:00

Been pretty busy these days
Been running to the hospital for past 7 weeks, mom had heart surgery.
I have not been here on the blogger much
Hope everybody is well

Daria

2011-01-24T00:22:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately I have not been on since November of last year. Today I logged in, and I read about Daria.
I am so upset, sad, shocked, confused. I truly wish I had logged in earlier.
Daria, was so a great person, she was positive, a great mentor, a super woman.
I am too upset right now to talk about Daria

I am feeling tired lately, my mom has fallen ill and I have been at hospital for last two days, she is having open heart surgery and I am stressed and not feeling all that well.

Plus hearing about Daria

New place- new headaches

2010-11-14T13:03:00.002-05:00

Hi Everybody
I am doing well and hope you are too
I love my new place, but have problems again
Going to rental board this week

Finally moved

2010-07-17T05:19:00.001-04:00

I finally moved, what a job.....I don't want to ever move again lol
going from the 2nd floor to 3rd floor was rough on the movers and myself.
But I finally got rid of the neighbour upstairs.
Well, no matter where we live unless we own our own home is difficult, there are noisy neighbours everywhere unfortunately.
I saw my oncology shrink a few days ago seems my anti-depressants are working, I am in a better frame of mind. I was pretty depresses lately and then having my mom fall ill, did not help my stress and depression. She is feeling a little better, Thank God. It was beyond heart breaking seeing her in that condition.
Wow as I sit here typing at 5:17 am, I could hear my neighbour snoring , shit what a building, but at least I dont have anyone above me thats a plus.
I see my oncologist on Monday.....of course we all know when its time to see our doctor, we stress. So yup I am a little stressed.
On a good note, I gained about 12lbs. I am now 122lbs, I look better, healthier.
You all take care

Moving......and taking care of mom

2010-05-26T13:26:00.000-04:00

Its been a hectic past month.....finally got a new appartment, I was unable to get rid of my upstairs neighbour, so ....... I have to move.....
Mom, fell and hurt herself, she is 80. I have been taking care of her. Its difficult seeing our parents get old.
I am grateful this happened now and not last year when I was on chemo, as I would not have been able to help her, but today, I am. Makes me happy to be there for her

Nightmare getting hospital appointments

2010-04-16T23:15:00.001-04:00

I am uptight.... had my last colonoscopy in January, fine
Surgeon asked me to make a appointment for April. fine, I go see the secretary right after my appointment to be told to only call end March...fine
End March comes and no answer, I kept getting the answering service. Once, twice etc..I kept leaving messages to call me back to set a appointment.
No reply " nothing" now its mid April I finally get a hold of secretary to be told they are fully booked till June....like HELLO didn't I leave messages? Her reply is that she never received them, I don't know if I should cry,laugh or scream
This is not a joke, surgeon wants to see me April,not May not June

CT went well

2010-04-07T22:56:00.000-04:00

Got my CT Scan results, all is good
Now need blood test for CEA count
Besides that nothing new here....spring is in the air

Covering her derriere * excuse my French*

2010-03-23T00:21:00.002-04:00

Ok, so today, started with a bang
first my rental lawyer called...8:15AM.... woke me up
I already found 2 dead mice...joy NOT (picture)
The registered letter which I sent to my landlord looks like he did not accept it...so now to the city to file and complaint and to the rental board. Concerning the nut bar upstairs ( see picture) one of the frames has fallen and is all cockeyed
The hospital received my registed letter today, they called today asked me
what I wanted.....her gone
Social worker called.... telling me the whole floor is freaking out. She was on secretarys side, telling me how could she remember? Its not only that she lied over and over again.
Also, she claims I told her off...which I did not
All I said was " I no longer wish to talk to you" I am filing a claim against you and you have not heard the end of this" she has nerve

Hospital Ombudsperson

2010-03-20T15:39:00.002-04:00

I sent a registered letter to the Ombudsman at hospital. I am seeking a lawyer. I do not blame the doctor, I blame his secretary for not doing her job and on top of that lying to me since last year. I am so fed up with dealing with her. She called yesterday, I told her I did not wish to talk to her and that she would hear more about this, as I was filing a claim against her.... 3 months later she decides to call me to cover her ass. Its too late. I am the patient, I've been very nice to her and the hospital staff but this has to stop, employees taking advantage of their senority at their job. All I've seen her do is walk the lobbies at the hospital, everytime I've gone to her office she is never there... no work is being done. It has to stop, somebody has to stand for the rights of the patients and thats ME. Every nurse or secretary that I have spoken to, has agreed that she does not do her job and they all have rolled their eyes and told me she has senority blah blah and they can't get rid of her...sad but true, these people take advantage of their benefits and in the long run its the patients that suffer. I've always been a fighter for the underdog and this is what I am doing...
The same applies to my landlord....after 10 years of suffering, its time to fight back

Seniority and unionized staff can kiss my ass

2010-03-18T18:42:00.001-04:00

Do I sound upset?
I am !!!!!!
Remember me mentioning I had to have Oncology doctor fill out forms for disablity? Yeah yeah...back in Sept.09....I left docs with his dumb ass secretary... Now... Dec.09 I find out they were not filled out... but she had told my Dec.11th or so that everything was taken care of... ok ....
Dec.18th I find out NOT DONE. I spoke with doctor, he filled out forms.
I get government letter asking for more information, fine, I drop docs at secretary some time in Jan. 10.
Today.... March 18th had appointment at hospital...see the secretary... I asked her if docs were prepared and sent.... she looks at me with a distance look in her face and says " what documents " I tell her, she says, ok give me a couple of minutes and I will look in my file.
10 Minutes goes by...I see her with her coat ready to leave for the day.
WHO THE FUCK CARES THAT I AM STANDING THERE WAITING......
just ups and goes home....
I am freaking out..... another nosy bitch tells me to claim down as there are patients around, firstly the floor was empty this was 4pm
she is giving me grief, I said " must be nice to get a pay cheque every week and not worry about money" " BUT I have to wait for almost a year to get papers filled out.
Thats the problem.... some staff , go about their bullshit not worry about working....because they have seniority blah blah
IN THE MEANTIIME....ITS THE PATIENTS WHO ARE SUFFERING....NEED I SAY
CANCER PATIENTS....AND OTHERS...THIS IS NOT ABOUT A SPRAINED FOOT

Very productive and crazy day

2010-03-17T23:14:00.000-04:00

Oh my ...... found running around 2 mice not 1 but 2.....I am freaking out, did not sleep at all...
Called city... my landlord has 10 days to take care of this problem, I look like a mad woman with boards, sheets etc.... blocking them from running around.
Saw a lawyer today, I should of done this 10 years ago when I started having problems with bitch upstairs, but finally I've had enough....so I saw a lawyer, letter posting tomorrow and then to rental board.
I hope they do something about this non stopping nightmare, nobody should have to suffer what I am....

Not feeling all that well

2010-03-16T22:31:00.000-04:00

Been having dizzy spells lately.... not feeling too good
Sluggish, tired....don't know why
Have therapy this week, Ct Scan end of month, flushing etc...
THE MOUSE IS BACK.just my luck

Great feeling

2010-03-10T23:37:00.000-05:00

Hi all
I'm still around, just haven't been on here much.
It feels great to get up in the morning, not having to go get chemo into ones system
I feel great....doing my thing, looking for a job etc....reading a lot
Reading on John Lennon now, what A LIFE ...... goes to show you how much we know little of what goes on behind closed doors...
Wish everybody is well
Laura, I enjoyed your books, there were great....thank you

Well , well

2010-02-27T02:59:00.000-05:00

This week has been good....I can't complain
I get up , do my thing so that is great considering this time last year I was going thru chemo.
So, all is VERY GOOD.
Been a little busy, looking for work....it ain't easy, it freaks me out a little , don't know if I am able to work full time or not.
That scares me, and the Fashion industry don't look at your CV if you have been unemployed for awhile....the industry sucks at time.
I do get tired a lot, I burn out fast.
I still feel weak and not as strong as I used to be
BUT, I am still not complaining.
Laura....you should try to pick up " Quicksand" by Ellen Singer, its a true story about a abusive relationship, reminds me of one of my past relationship.

Elton John...should get help in a big way

2010-02-22T04:09:00.002-05:00

Sir Elton John has claimed that Jesus was a “super-intelligent gay man” in a controversial new interview.

The Rocket Man singer told US magazine Parade: “I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems.

“On the Cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving.”

He added: “I don’t know what makes people so cruel. Try being a gay woman in the Middle East – you’re as good as dead.”

Later in the interview, Sir Elton recalled how his relationship with husband David Furnish began.

He said: “I was attracted to David immediately. He was very well-dressed, very shy… We fell in love very quickly.”

The veteran star also admitted he had made many mistakes in love by pampering lovers until they “hated my guts”.

He said: “I’d always choose someone younger. I wanted to smother them with love.

“I’d take them around the world, try to educate them. One after another they got a Cartier watch, a Versace outfit, maybe a sports car.

“They didn’t have jobs. They were reliant on me. I did this repeatedly.

“In six months they were bored and hated my guts because I’d taken their lives and self-worth away. I hadn’t intended to.”

What makes people special

2010-02-19T16:57:00.000-05:00

Everybody has something special to offer.....
My dad who is 85 and will be 86 in March is a special individual....to say the least....I've had my shares of ups and downs with him throughout my life....but he has surprised me recently.
He has a younger neighbour who is a lung cancer patient and not doing all that well....so what does my dad do? He does his groceries....
and assists him as much as he can.....Now there a special man.

Thank you Laura

2010-02-16T01:51:00.002-05:00

Laura, I received the books thank you very much, of course I will start with Taken from Home...looks great...hope you enjoyed my books..
You should check out the below DUI itchy nuts....
I watched the video you put up....AMAZING

Quiet weekend- Watched the Olympics

2010-02-15T00:27:00.001-05:00

Had a pretty quiet weekend, nothing too special here. Mostly watched the Olympics, boy these athletes are so talented.... very nice and impressive to watch.
We finally got a Gold, Congrats Alex......
Nothing new here...looking for a job....ready to go back to the workforce.
Hey Laura did you read the book I sent, the true crime one, did you enjoy it?

Amazing opening of the Olympic Winter Games

2010-02-13T01:05:00.000-05:00

What a great night....was truly something to see....
My thoughts and prayers go out to the family of Georgian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili who died Friday in a horrific crash

YouTube - Itchy Nuts DUI....I almost oops in my pants after seeing this lol

2010-02-12T01:28:00.005-05:00

You gotta watch this.......

YouTube - Itchy Nuts DUI

Did not work

2010-02-03T09:36:00.000-05:00

Things did not work out, I enrolled him in school, spoke to the cops, he lied to me about a break in, I defended myself against his drug dealer. He was making money via the government going back to school but he screwed up. Drinking, drugs again. I sent him to his dad in Ontario, things only got worse, Tim claimed I was expecting his baby, geez,things then really got bad, his dad kicked him out. Back to jail or rehab not sure.
I sent him money from his program which I kept. He kept calling about more money.
I kept some for his room and board and he crashed my computer with his porn crap.
In the end he only called me for money......
He showed up in Montreal again, right after my first surgery...... was not a pleasant surprise, he was on the streets again, I was to ill to take him in and I did not want the headache again.
He started working, never called to see how I was
In the end , the relationship crashed.

I thought I saw him

2010-02-03T00:42:00.000-05:00

Did some groceries tonight, on my walk back.....there on the sidewalk was a kid, all wrapped up with winter clothing, blankets and more blankets sitting out in the cold on the sidewalk.....asking for money, with his hand extended as people were walking by and out of the liquor store. My first thought was that Tim was back on drugs and back on the streets, sleeping out in the cold. I did not get a good look at him as he had a hoodie on. When I first set eyes on Tim it was 2008 November, there he was outside, standing on the street, cold, wet, stoned, and asking for money...wearing a worn out hoodie..Days went by and I kept seeing him out in the cold or sleeping in the ATM bank entrance. I decided to get him some warm clothing and I fed him. As the weather got colder, I couldn't see him out on the street, so I took him in. He became the son I never had. We got along pretty good, I got him off the drugs, he had clean clothes, a warm home and plenty of food, boy could this kid eat...he ate me out of a home, he just couldn't stop eating....
It was great having him around, but there were moments were it was awful. His drugs, his obession with me. There were times, I asked myself what are you doing having a 17 year old crack addict living with you....oh well..... He did good most days...then there were days he just went down. My boyfriend at the time was not all happy about this arrangement then again he was never happy with whatever I did or decided. I made sure the kid had a great Xmas he had not had a Xmas since he was 12 years old....he and I celebrated his 18th birthday. Anyway things got out of hand and he moved out.
I called a buddy of mine and asked if that was him out in the cold tonight, no , it was not....the kid is now living with a girl but I am told doing drugs again.
Who really knows

Nirvana

2010-02-01T01:19:00.004-05:00

I went to library and picked up " Love and Death" The Murder of Kurt Cobain by Max Wallace and Ian Halperin, I have " Who Killed Kurt Cobain" on order , Ian ( Montrealer) he wrote "Unmasked" Michael Jackson, it was so, so..... not bad, I ordered Brangelina lol......interesting to see what he has to write about the couple.
Its a pretty good book.....I looked for Ann Rule but of course they don't have any ( darn ) small, very small library ( that is their excuse )
I haven't been doing much these days, been down, sleeping lots.....wondering, wondering
I wonder at times why this had to happen !!!!!!!!!!!!
I also started reading books by Douglas Kennedy.....he is good...a different writer than what I am used to

Everything is ok......for another 4 months

2010-01-26T17:26:00.000-05:00

Had my doctor appointment this morning 10:15, waited till 12......waited till 3 for therapy appointment.
All is GOOD......will have follow up in 4 months
Besides that snowing ,blowing, rain, ice .......lousy day today
Went out for supper last night for my birthday was very nice.

Got a picture of my parents 60th Wedding Anniversary gift-doctor appointment

2010-01-24T19:43:00.001-05:00

Went to visit my parents today..... since its my birthday tomorrow....Last year at this time I lived with them for one week after my second surgery (Ovarian tumor) I left on my birthday and came back home
I took pictures of their gift since I forgot to do so on Dec.31.
So here it is.
Tuesday I have appointment with my colon surgeon another semi Colonoscopy..... such fun......
He usually checks 1 foot of my colon if all clear great, if not then full Colonoscopy is required.....

Happy Birthday to me......turning 29 lol

2010-01-23T14:20:00.000-05:00

Wow.....another birthday...Jan.25, I noticed Daria's birthday is the 24 and mine is 25th....
Not looking forward forward to getting older.... not too far from 50 hard to believe, I made it this far.
No much celebrating here, visiting my parents.....thats what is important.
Happy Birthday Daria....... we are both 29 years old lol

Every two minutes my computer beeps with emails from colon support group

2010-01-20T02:16:00.000-05:00

Oh my God....been over a week now..... I get emails from the colon cancer yahoo support group...all I am reading is Chuck has passed, Patty has passed, another saying cancer has spread to liver, stomach, lungs, on and on..........ITS FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE......THIS BLOODY CANCER
its saddening to me, it pisses me off.....its not fair

Cancelled Therapy session today

2010-01-18T13:09:00.000-05:00

Woke up feeling tired..... its the same everyday
Decided not to go to therapy. I am not motivated, encouraged, happy etc.....
It has been like these for awhile now, don't know what the problem is
Is it my frame of mind, the weather, cancer what?

It ain't easy to carry on....with Cancer lurking

2010-01-16T18:31:00.000-05:00

Denial:
psychology a state of mind marked by a refusal or an inability to recognize and deal with a serious personal problem

I often wonder if I am in denial. So much has happened that I at times can't believe it is true.
Has or does anyone feel this way? Its difficult to explain.....
I do my thing each and every day....but then my mind goes to CANCER, I have cancer
It freaks me out sometimes during the night when I am trying to sleep, I ask myself...... what next?
How many more days, weeks, months, years

Today....1 year ago....had second surgery ovarian tumor

2010-01-14T15:36:00.002-05:00

One year ago at this time 3:30PM I was in recovery room after my second surgery.....removal of my second cancer tumor, and a full hysterectomy this one being for the ovarian tumor which was 8.5"..... I stayed longer in recovery room as I could not feel my legs. Due to the Epidural and anesthesia.
Was no fun..... I could not feel anything below my waist. This lasted for a long time.......so I remained there, unable to move while my family sat in the waiting room waiting for me.
I was so distressed I asked one of the nurses if I could have my mom come down to see me, I was worried about my parents sitting in waiting room since 6AM...and it was now 3:30PM, she allowed one visitor....I was happy to be able to see my mom and let her know I was good except for lack of feeling of my legs.
As long as I saw my mom and she was able to see me, I was good...... so back to sleep I went.
At approximately 5:30 my feeling in legs was slowly coming back GREAT....I could now feel my legs, what a awful feeling not feeling ones legs, I thought will this be permanent ? No, I came back to normal. The following day, one of my legs was still pretty numb, I knocked over the water container lol, was not pretty as I sat there on the chair, yeah they had me up and about the very next day.
I have to say.....2009 for me was hell........ 2 surgeries, chemo ........on and on
Today it feels like it all never happened, but it did

Sluggish, depressed and can't sleep

2010-01-13T14:29:00.002-05:00

What can I say...... been feeling sluggish and out of whack
Don't know why....... so much has happened in the past, sometimes I don't believe it
Oh well......today is another day

The bitch is back ....what does Elton John sing

2010-01-11T23:18:00.000-05:00

Sorry had to say bitch......well..... CTV news got my email......
They sent my email to the Westmount Legal Clinic..... when they left me a message, I asked myself the what?
So, they wish for me to go see them and discuss my bbbbb neighbour and to help me write a letter to my landlord in order for it to go to the rental board.......geez.....
Legal letter must be registered etc..... has to been properly written blah blah
I need witnesses.... you would think this was a murder investigation.
I think they should all just camp out here for a few nights and see for themselves lol
I believe she got some kind of message or warning ( yeah her upstairs)
or she is out of town or took a fast boat to some foreign island ( if I were so lucky)
Well, I will put my boxing gloves on and go for the big fight......after 9 years its enough

This time last year, I was extremely ill

2010-01-09T20:11:00.000-05:00

Hard to believe this time last year, I was awaiting my second surgery. I was pretty sick, my cancer had spread to my ovary. The tumor was 8.5".....amazing how it could get that huge within a couple of months.
At this time last year I was freaking out, had a terrible X-Mas and New Years.....
I had the best doctor, in North America,Dr. Stanimir, he saved my life.
I would told he was the best, and he was and still is.
Everytime I see him, he says the same thing " Your surgery was complicated"

Peripheral Neuropathy

2010-01-09T00:25:00.000-05:00

For those wondering about Peripheral Neuropathy, its 5 months now since my last chemo and I am still having problems with my hands and feet.
Looks like it will last awhile......my hands are not as painful as before, but I still have the numbness and tingling .

Fido.....does anyone have same cell provider?

2010-01-07T19:19:00.000-05:00

I have heard lots of people are not happy with their cell providers, I am one of them lol
By the way Rogers has bought Fido ( Canadian companies)
ok....so I have my new cell a little over 2 years but a 3 year contract.
Did you know that if you decide to cancel.... they will charge you the monthly rate til your contract expires?
Great stuff
I changed my monthly plan as I only use my cell once a week if that....
This past month... due date was Dec 25 or so....I did not pay...with all happening etc....I forgot to pay...would you know, they started calling night and day, both my home and cell numbers for payment....
lol...... unbelievable a bill of 32 or so....would have them bother you constantly everyday. I can't understand this. The bigger the company the more assholes for a 32.00 bill
My bill is paid but what a headache

In search of a lawyer

2010-01-05T16:31:00.000-05:00

I spoke to landlords secretary, she does not believe my picture frames on the walls have fallen........
oh really.....I lost it.................I said, yeah ok, I am complaining to you because I have nothing better to do for past 9 years, she offered a different appartment, yeah right like I will spend money to move , ( I aleady spent lots of money in this place ) then she offered to offer,,,,, yeah OFFER tenant upstairs to move to different appartment which is available.Sure, she will want to move.....this is bullshit
I can't believe this nonsense. I told her, I was getting a lawyer...........
Now after 1 year of contact from me, she decides she will file at rental board.....ohhhh 1 year later
I told her, its great for people like you to have no neighbour problems
I am pissed

Found a way to fight back.....CTV News " on your side"

2010-01-04T16:46:00.002-05:00

After over 9 years of torture living through hell with a psycho neighbour upstairs, I decided to contact CTV News..... to get my message across. What made me decide to contact the news media?

Been over 9 years of noise, banging, picture frames falling off my walls, my light fixtures vibrating like they are ready to drop from ceiling
When she moved in.....I complained to janitor.(he no longer works here) ..he in turn introduced us...not a good thing.... she looked at me and told me it was her couch....really since when do couches walk, drop items etc...( This seems to be a racist problem )
Since that introduction it has gotten worse.... to her it was payback
Cops won't do a thing....they consider its not music therefore , they can't do a thing
I pay my rent......close to 50,000 if not more to date
I am a tenant and deserve piece and quiet
She will drop heavy items right in the middle of the night over my bed....why? to get back at me
She had guests over the other day, they stayed till past 2am, banging their feet, cheering etc..... no regard for people downstairs Me ( it was not New Years Eve)
Every morning she will walk around in her heels..... getting ready , most of the time she does not work, so I have to listen to her all day and night
Its hard for me to read, take a nap.......I change rooms not to hear her, but she paces every room
Its become unbearable
When I was undergoing chemo.....it was a nightmare
Every day and night, she keeps dropping items, sounds like a bowling ball over my head, if I am sitting on my couch, I jump to the ceiling with that terrible bang.
Every day, same story with her......NO RESPECT
What upsets me more is that she moved from appartment across the street to here because she kept complaining of upstairs noise, so what does she do? Same bullshit here
My landlord has not returned any of my calls
But yet on the 1st, janitor is knocking on my door for the rent
My new janitor is afraid of her and won't talk to her
This is a no win situation, she has the upper hand and she knows it
I have a glass dining table and I am afraid one day, the light fixture will come crashing
When I was waiting for my first surgery in Oct. I got my bath redone...great.... only to wait over 6 months for them to put chalking around the bath....couldn't take a shower, so I don't usually complain about the repairs needed etc....I just do it myself if I am able, but this is too much.....9 years
I hope somebody out there is able to help.... if not, looks like I need a lawyer

Has the world gone crazy

2010-01-02T15:05:00.000-05:00

After much work and stress, the 60th Anniversary went well....my family showed up, except my sister, I felt bad she was unable to make it, but I understood......
It never surprises me, there is always someone who does not understand, nor appreciates someone fighting cancer..... walk in their shoes then come talk to me about living with cancer.
Sometimes I wish people not to talk before thinking, but....some people don't get it, ignorance is bliss, some people like living in a glass bubble and not have consideration for others.....oh well c'est la vie

I come in peace

2010-01-01T17:21:00.001-05:00

I come in peace....Unbelievable bit of photojournalism. Real life events.

Polar Bear: I come in Peace

Norbert Rosing's striking images of a wild polar bear coming upon tethered sled dogs in the

wilds of Canada 's Hudson Bay .

The photographer was sure that he was going to see the end of his dogs when the polar bear wandered in.

It ' s hard to believe that this polar bear only needed to hug someone!

The Polar Bear returned every night that week to play with the dogs.

May you

always have love to share,

Health to spare,

And friends that care

Blue Mountain - Greeting

2010-01-01T17:12:00.001-05:00

http://www.bluemountain.com/view.pd?i=224405417&m=4493&rr=y&source=bma999

New day, new year, new life

2010-01-01T09:43:00.000-05:00

Wow..... we made it to 2010........ congratulations to all cancer survivors.....and all
Most of us have had a tough trying year, if not decade..but we made it....
Today is the start of the rest of our lives, I for one will do things differently, to me each day is a blessing.
Each day, that I am well and able to go out and do my thing is a good thing. Not having to go to the hospital 4 times a week is a great thing. Not having to go thru chemo is another great thing. My hands still bother me, but hey if that is the only thing, I can live with that... I am happy to be here and to have met so many bloggers, you all made a difference in my life. Thank you all for your support in the past year.

I am grateful for all that I have and for the people I know. This year, I will go back to work, and be normal again......as normal as I can be.

Today, I am happy to be celebrating my parents 60th Wedding Anniversary

So, get up.... its beautiful out there, lots of snow, trees covered in snow.......I didn't think I would be here, but I am, we are......

Last day of 2009

2009-12-31T00:21:00.000-05:00

So, today is the last day of 2009, all I have to say, is good bye.....
For many its been a trying, emotional, painful year and some a good year.
I am at peace today, so much has happened this year, 2 surgeries, chemo, lose of friends, renewal of new ones, meeting great people, the struggle during chemo treatments, the hysterectomy and knowing, I will never have a son or daughter. The knowledge of knowing my family are behind me, my sister in law would come to the hospital every two weeks and sit with me during my chemo treatment, my brother would drop in and see how I was doing ( he works at the hospital ) my parents sat at home anxiously waiting for my phone call to let them know, I was fine and was heading home. So many nights while on chemo my sister would call, only to not speak to me, as I was sleeping due to chemo, I would spend days straight in bed, unable to answer the phone, once up I would return her call, my dear lovely sister, she came out so many times this year to see me. She is the middle child, 9 years older than me, and the whole year, I looked 20 years older than my age, chemo is poison. I dreaded going in for chemo, my sister in law would tell me 9 more, 8 more, and on and on.....and I did them all, all 12. As you know, the more chemo treatments, the more pain and side effects, so each new one was dreadful, not something I looked forward to.
The year is soon gone, the good memories and the bad.......soon history.
I rather forget the awful moments of this past year, but I will forever remember the good parts, my mom's 80th birthday, my sisters visits, my visit to her and her family, seeing my nephews and great nephew.
I was never a family person ( I love them all) but I was never one for get togethers, well all that changed.
I am having my family over, except my sister for New Years day.....my parents 60th Anniversary, makes me happy to give back, and thank them all for all they did for me this past year.

Although we don't pick our family, they are forever in our hearts, they stick with us no matter what.
I have a great solid loving family, I would not change them.

Well.....my friends, I wish you all a very Happy New Year, better than last year , or atleast not worse.
Time goes by much too fast.......cherish the ones around us as life is short , appreciate today as tomorrow is another day.....

Happy New Year

Will you give this to my Daddy?- from colon cancer support blogger

2009-12-30T16:48:00.001-05:00

Will you give this to my Daddy?

As a Company, Southwest Airlines is going to support 'Red Fridays.'

Last week I was in Atlanta, Georgia attending a conference. While I was in the airport, returning home, I heard several

people behind me beginning to clap and cheer. I immediately turned around and witnessed one of the greatest acts of patriotism I have ever seen.

Moving through the terminal was a group of soldiers in their camos. As they began heading to their gate, everyone (well almost everyone) was abruptly to their feet with their hands waving and cheering.

When I saw the soldiers, probably 30-40 of them, being applauded and cheered for, it hit me. I'm not alone. I'm not the only red-blooded American who still loves this country and supports our troops and their families.

Of course I immediately stopped and began clapping for these young unsung heroes who are putting their lives on the line everyday for us so we can go to school, work and home without fear or reprisal.

Just when I thought I could not be more proud of my country or of our service men and women, a young girl, not more than 6 or 7 years old, ran up to one of the male soldiers. He kneeled down and said 'hi.'

The little girl then asked him if he would give something to her daddy for her.

The young soldier, who didn't look any older than maybe 22 himself, said he would try and what did she want to give to her Daddy. Then suddenly the little girl grabbed the neck of this soldier, gave him the biggest hug she could muster and then kissed him on the cheek.

The mother of the little girl, who said her daughter's name was Courtney, told the young soldier that her husband was a Marine and had been in Iraq for 11 months now. As the mom was explaining how much her daughter Courtney missed her father, the young soldier began to tear up.

When this temporarily single mom was done explaining her situation, all of the soldiers huddled together for a brief second. Then one of the other servicemen pulled out a military-looking walkie-talkie. They started playing with the device and talking back and forth on it..

After about 10-15 seconds of this, the young soldier walked back over to
Courtney, bent down and said this to her, 'I spoke to your daddy and he told me to give this to you.' He then hugged this little girl that he had just met and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He finished by saying 'your daddy told me to tell you that he loves you more than anything and he is coming home very soon.'

The mom at this point was crying almost uncontrollably and as the young soldier stood to his feet, he saluted Courtney and her mom. I was standing no more than 6 feet away from this entire event.

As the soldiers began to leave, heading towards their gate, people resumed their applause. As I stood there applauding and looked around, there were very few dry eyes, including my own.

That young soldier in one last act of selflessness, turned around and blew a kiss to Courtney with a tear rolling down his cheek. We need to remember everyday all of our soldiers and their families and thank God for them and their sacrifices. At the end of the day, it's good to be an American.

RED FRIDAYS -----

Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing Red every Friday. The reason? Americans who support our troops used to be called the 'silent majority'. We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for God, country and home in record breaking numbers.

We are not organized, boisterous or over-bearing. We get no liberal media coverage on TV, to reflect our message or our opinions. Many American, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of Americans supports our troops.

Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday -and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that.. Every red-blooded American who supports our men and women afar will wear something red.

By word of mouth, press, TV -- let's make the United States on every Friday a sea of red much like a homecoming football game in the bleachers.

If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family. It will not be long before the USA is covered in RED and it will let our troops know the once 'silent' majority is on their side more than ever; certainly more than the media lets on.

The first thing a soldier says when asked 'What can we do to make things better for you?' is...We need your support and your prayers. Let's get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example; and wear something red every Friday.

IF YOU AGREE -- THEN SEND THIS ON.
IF YOU COULDN'T CARE LESS
THEN HIT THE DELETE BUTTON --- IT IS YOUR CHOICE. I don't know if you've seen this, but I couldn't delete it..

WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE,
ONLY BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE.
THEIR BLOOD RUNS RED---- SO WEAR
RED! --- MAY GOD HELP AMERICA TO BECOME ONE
NATION, UNDER GOD.=

My thoughts and prayers go out to those of you

2009-12-29T22:41:00.000-05:00

My thoughts and prayers go out to those of you who have lost someone dear this year. Alli, Sara, Steve, Laura and so many more......
Life is difficult

Running around like......... a mad woman, Thank God I am able

2009-12-28T13:42:00.000-05:00

I thank God everyday that I am able to do so much this season, last Xmas I had a 8.5" ovarian tumor and was unable to enjoy the holidays....as I anxiously awaited my second surgery.
Xmas went well, now my parents 60th..... I am running around....it stresses me out a little as I never entertain, or if I do its one person tops...now there will be 7 + if my sister shows up will be 9 people, I don't have enough dining chairs lols....oh well, the younger people will have to sit on cushions at my huge marble coffee table....better than standing
The engraving should be done by tomorrow, I will have to go pick it up, my brother is unable to go.
Today, I am off to do groceries, having it delivered. I am happy and excited about Friday, by Friday morning I will be a nervous wreck. I added more tissue paper flowers to my center piece, I rearranged my dining room , next will be the cleaning, dusting and washing of the floors.....so much fun cleaning

Tribute to Mme. Francine

2009-12-27T23:59:00.002-05:00

Back in October 08 when I had my colon surgery, I met a wonderful older French woman, Francine
she was a colon cancer patient who shared my hospital room. She was delightful, real nice lady.
We spent 1 week together in the hospital. She was a mother, grandmother and wife. Her female husband came every single day to visit her, they had married, but while in the hospital she told me , she was going to remarry Marie..sometime in December 08. Francine was crying one day, I asked her what was wrong, doctors waited 4-5 days after her surgery to tell her they couldn't do anything anymore except maybe chemo, she refused. She celebrated her birthday in the hospital. She left 1 week before me, she told me she was going home to die. I felt awful, she became a friend. She called me a couple of months later telling me she was weaker and so very tired. December she called again to tell me she was very happy , she married Marie again with her family by her side. I was happy for her. I never heard from her again, I was supposed to go visit her, but I was not well.
A couple of days ago, I tried calling her, her phone was disconnected, she passed away.
My heart and thoughts go out to her, such a wonderful, delightful woman. I could say I met wonderful people since my cancer journey started and she was one of them.
RIP Francine, je t'aime

Xmas is over

2009-12-26T11:42:00.001-05:00

December 26, 2009.....Xmas is over....makes you wonder all those days , weeks shopping for Xmas gifts for one day....As I look outside my window it looks like a ghost town.... very few people walking around, but then there are those who have rushed out early this morning for boxing day sales...
Xmas was spent at my parents, my brother, his wife and daughter came by....was nice
I stayed the night, and also spent xmas day with them......I enjoyed spending quality time with my parents, all went well....
Today is a day to rest and enjoy my time.....
Hope everybody had a great Xmas

My simple table center piece

2009-12-24T00:36:00.002-05:00

I decided to go with red and black

the flowers were made by me, the center flowers, I bought and stuck them on Styrofoam and the other flowers are made out of paper nakins and tissue paper, I will be making more flowers , I only have 2 tissue flowers on here, will probably put 4

I like simple, lol

I think I am sticking with this center piece, I love candles

Mom and Dad's Anniversary Gift

2009-12-24T00:23:00.000-05:00

I finally picked out a gift, it is about 12" x 12" with a 4" x 6" photo on left side

I changed the edges of glass, found this model to be too busy and the photo frame will be

silver

this picture is not great, I made a few changes to this model

It should be ready next week, I also got the crystal glass coasters engraved

There will be 2 paragraphs added on right hand side , thanking them and wishing them well

with everybodys name

my brother , sister

and me

Grandkids: Rod, Tracy, Shawn, Joshua

Great grandson,( he is 2 so adorable )

my sister in law and brother in law

The artist faxed me the artwork and wording in Portuguese, I approved it only to realize

he made a spelling error...damn

I called him to change the errors

gift should be ready early next week in time for 31st

now I am just looking for a picture of my parents , don't have their wedding picture, so might put

a picture taken in 1966

I have a great story about my great nephew, my sister was visiting , when she got up to leave, the little one ran up to his room, came downstairs with his boots and coat, my sister looked at him and said what is that?

he said, I am going home with you guys

Another time, my sister was visiting her brother in law, with the baby.... her brother in law kept coughing and the little one said, lets get out of hear, before I catch what he has

too funny

Holidays

2009-12-23T13:43:00.000-05:00

Merry X-Mas

Hope everybody's X-Mas is filled with joy, love, family

Enjoy the moment

The Season to run around and shop , decorate and celebrate with loved ones

2009-12-20T12:03:00.001-05:00

I would like to wish everybody a very MERRY XMAS......
I am excited this year, I feel better and will be celebrating x-mas with my parents. I have invited my brother and his family as well as my sister and her family over my place for New Years either Eve or day...its my parents 60 WEDDING ANNIVERSARY , I want to do something special for them, not sure my sister who lives out of town will be able to make it.
I have been busy getting thing ready and picking out the right gift, I decided to get a crystal either picture frame or display unit, engraved for their anniversary,I already have crystal coasters which will also be engraved and for xmas my parents are getting a family portrait which was taken last June, I don't look all that great.....being on chemo and all, but it is the only portait with entire family, the three siblings and my parents. I am sure they will like it.
Live today, this is what we have, enjoy the time that we have, so that is what I will do.....

Results and the bitch of a secretary

2009-12-18T19:32:00.001-05:00

Went for my appointment, ( every 3 months ) all is good my CEA was 5.1 so no sign of cancer ..........FEELS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!
Temperature today was -35C..... with the wind
Moving along... if you remember, I had left disability forms in September for the doctor to fill out, I had already filled out my forms and mailed them... 3 months go by and I desperately needed those forms filled out by the doctor...The secretary never mailed them out as she said, Enough bitching, its Xmas

Winter full force- Oncologist appointment

2009-12-17T16:09:00.000-05:00

Winter has arrived here in full force, -14C, 7F
Its bloody cold......that is winter in Montreal
I am still doing xmas shopping not finished yet.
I have invited my family over for New Years, its my parents 60th Wedding Anniversary......
I dropped off xmas gifts for hospital staff and my next stop is the second hospital....
Tomorrow, I will see my oncologist for my first follow up..... hope to get good news for xmas

2 Heros among us.............Just in time for XMas

2009-12-14T18:05:00.002-05:00

Two Winnipeg police officers are being credited with saving the life of a newborn after a woman who didn't know she was pregnant suddenly gave birth in her bathroom.

Both officers, who had just arrived at the home to follow up on a separate investigation on Sunday afternoon, ran into the bathroom when they heard a woman's screams.

The woman, 32, thought she was suffering from severe cramping, but officers found she had given birth while sitting on the toilet.

The officers plucked the unresponsive baby boy from the toilet, then revived him through mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

"The baby was retrieved from the toilet. It wasn't submerged but had been delivered. The child was initially unresponsive so officers performed CPR for approximately five minutes," Winnipeg Const. Jason Michalyshen told CTV.ca.

The baby boy is in stable condition in hospital along with his mother.

Const. Michalyshen said incidents like this are extremely rare.

"Never in a career would you likely come across a situation like this and thankfully, our members were there when they were and they just did an outstanding job," he said.

High-ranking officers are looking into whether the two officers should receive commendations for their actions, Const. Michalyshen said.

He could not reveal the names of the two officers because they sometimes work undercover but said they are a woman with nine years of service, and a man with seven years of service.

The pregnancy and birth took the woman's family completely by surprise.

"At first she thought it was cramps and then all of a sudden out of nowhere she starts yelling 'Darren, Darren, help me! Help my baby!'" Darren Richard, the woman's brother told CTV Winnipeg.

Richard said he thinks the baby would have died if the officers had not arrived when they did.

Time to give back

2009-12-12T13:52:00.000-05:00

I decided to buy little gifts for the hospital staff, this makes me very happy.....I picked up earrings, necklaces, brooches, rings for the oncology rehab department, and chocolate for the oncology department.
Its difficult buying for individuals, so I decided to bring chocolates to all the nurses in oncology.
Its time for me to give back, for all their great help
Makes me happy to do something for them......... hope everybody likes their little package.....
Thank you Montreal General Hospital,and the Royal Victoria Hospital

Soon another year has gone by

2009-12-12T02:00:00.001-05:00

After reading Barbara's post, it made me reflect and think of my past year, what a year....
Started my small business, while preparing my business plan, I felt extremely tired all the time, little did I know I had cancer. Finished my plan, and then ended up at the hospital. Strange finished plan mid August and ended up in hospital end August and was told end Sept I had colon cancer, colon surgery in October, stayed in hospital 2 weeks, water in lungs, was in pretty bad shape, couldn't breathe without oxygen tank glued to me 24 hours a day.... incision was not healed properly, so had to go to clinic in the middle of winter to get it packed each and everyday....stomach started swelling, bad sign..... later found out colon cancer had spread to ovary....more surgery......had second tumor removed, plus a hysterectomy, this time my hospital stay was 1 week, ended up going home one day before my 46th birthday.....
Before all this happened, I had so many people around me, not friends but people. I was so upset about my cancer, I did not make a effort to call anybody ( these people anyway) nor have they called me since.
My true friends stuck around, doctors warned me, about patients my age, seeing friends disappear, he was right.....
Although, it was a rough journey, I became closer to my family, they were all there for me in my time of need.
My parents are 80 and 85 , I love them, God bless them.....
I have noticed they have aged overnight since my illness, I felt terrible having them live through this journey, I kept my diagnose from them for about 3 months, I couldn't tell them, I told them it was just a tumor had to be removed, in the end I had to tell them the truth...it was not easy.
Last Xmas had to be the worse Xmas ever...I looked like I was expecting a baby, my tumor was so huge...had to buy new clothes, loose clothes.
Sitting there at the dinner table with my parents on Xmas day was awful.
I just cried and cried, I couldn't keep my emotions in anymore.
I was scared and freaked out, I sat there and tried to eat and all I thought about was my second surgery, my chemo treatments, how much time I had left in this world....the thoughts wouldn't stop...my mind was racing.
I couldn't believe that I had cancer at 46 but I did like so many others out there, I was not alone.
Today...... we are 2 weeks away from Xmas and I look forward to spending time with my parents, in peace, no crying, no negative thoughts.
On Dec.31, my parents will have their 60th wedding anniversary, can you imagine, and I am the only kid in the family who has never married, nor has any kids....
I have ordered a family portrait ( was taken at my moms 80th birthday party) this year.... my brother, my sister, myself and both my parents are in it....it will be my gift to them.
I hope everybody, takes the time to look around this xmas and appreciate the people around them. Life is short...love one another and be happy at that moment...after all tomorrow is another day, but today is today
Happy Holidays everybody

What a freakin headache, calls, faxes

2009-12-09T14:17:00.003-05:00

Wow......I should get paid for all this running around
The Canadian Cancer Society finally mailed out my cheque for 78.00 from the original cab receipts of over 300.00

I am so fed up of calling these people, faxing, calling.....
Its a good thing, I have the strength to do all this, what would happen if I was on chemo treatments, in bed most of the month? What then?
Also a major problem...getting appointments, either the line gets disconnected as you wait for a answer because voice box is full or you have a leave a message for someone to get back to you
Not to mention....by the time you finish listening to their long message, you have to press 1 for English or 2 for French blah blah.....whatever happend to people answering the phone when it rings, instead of all this hit this for this or that....so time consuming
oh yeah..... the only appointment available for a mammo is for June 2010
ohhhhhh my
ok, I won't bitch anymore had to get it out

Happy Thanksgiving US

2009-11-26T04:53:00.002-05:00

Pain in the $^%%$%

2009-11-20T19:48:00.001-05:00

1st pain :Little mouse, or big rat........
Nope not talking about my colon ......... I've been sleeping on my couch for few days now, no word from landlord..darn
Where are they when you need them....oh yeah knocking on door on the first of every month collecting the rent....dah
2nd pain: elephant neighbour....if walks and sounds like a elephant then must be a elephant
She has been driving nuts for over 9 years.....I believe she must be falling on her head, I hear these big bangs lol, so loud, that I jump from my seat....if its not her pacing the appartment all day and nite, s its her falling on her big ffffff head....can you tell I am fuming? Wish people had more respect, I DON'T GET IT, talk about a royal bitch....that's her
she knows cops don't do anything about these complaints unless its music related.....she has the upper hand

Watch a grown woman run away from a mouse

2009-11-18T15:54:00.001-05:00

What can I say....... during the night, I hear noises.....lol, sounds like a mouse behind my bed/dressers, it freaks me out.....I end up running from bedroom with my comforter into the living room....like a 4 year old
Slept on my couch last night..all freaked out.
Tried reaching the owner but of course millionaires have better things to do than answer tenants phone calls.....
On a better note, I finally dyed my hair..I went to the Natural store and picked up hair dye, it worked...my hair did not fall off....
I've been kept busy by my friend Rene....thats a good thing
I ended up receiving a phone call from CCS, they are working on my refund, 75.00, I am still waiting for the cheque....oh well.....if I am lucky will receive by Xmas......

Amazing 5 year old

2009-11-12T00:24:00.002-05:00

The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony...theme for St.Margaret Hospital-Cancer

2009-11-11T23:22:00.003-05:00

Michael Jackson- This is it

2009-11-10T20:13:00.000-05:00

Wow, finally got to see it..............ITS AMAZING !!!!!!!!
LOVED IT
I have a question last week when I saw it, he sang Dirty Diana......today I did not see that
Strange is there two versions of the movie?

Did she say " Survivor"

2009-11-02T17:48:00.001-05:00

On my last cancer rehab appointment which means meeting with doctor, nurse, nuritionist, physiotherapist, Occupational therapist.........
Occ was talking to me about keeping active, job relations, etc....... and she said.....You are now a Cancer Survior..... I looked at her and said " oh so that is what they call me now" " for how long"
Nobody knows!!!!!!!!!!
What qualifies to be a cancer survior? I wondered..... 1 month cancer free,,,,,,,6 months , 5 years, 10 years?
ummmmmm........would seem to me, after 5 or 10 years to be termed " Survivor"
After all its only been a little over 1 month for me
I find it strange

Today marks 1 year since my first surgery

2009-10-27T14:14:00.001-04:00

Wow, its already been 1 year today, since my first surgery...hard to believe this journey started a little over year ago
Today I am well, as well as I can be. Nothing exciting happening here. Trying to figure out what to do to support myself..my leather wear or something else.
I have been keeping busy seeing my friend Rene, he has been very supportive and kind.....a great friend indeed.
I've been going to cancer rehab, doing my psyhio...( I hate it) I was never a excercise person lol....
Been reading lots....now I am into Ann Rule (true crime) she is pretty good.....very good actually, except I get paranoid at times after reading some horrible murder...
Besides that cancer is always in the back of my mind...what if this or that....its normal to be afraid of the unknown. I try not to let it run my life, been taking it one day at a time.
I've been thinking of maybe starting in the accessory business and continue my leather wear, not sure what to do

Sad day

2009-10-20T23:29:00.000-04:00

Thank God, I agreed to go on anti depressants........ today I feel sad....... I enjoy reading peoples posts on here, but there are days, I can't help but be sad and upset when I read some posts. People on here have been part of my day for many months now, I feel close to some and it disturbs me to read some days.
I truly wish, there was not cancer in our lifetime, but there is.
We the warriors have to get up each day and fight and keep our head up high and only wish for a better tomorrow

google street and 7 pounds

2009-10-19T16:42:00.001-04:00

Wow, talk about lack of privacy..... can you believe, now we could type any address and see the building, home of anybody....... what is this world coming too........sounds a little dangerous to me

Movie 7 Pounds
Yesterday was a good day, my friend Rene picked me up, we had a real nice lunch/supper.....he cooked.

We decided to stay in and watch a movie, we ended up watching 7 Pounds with Will Smith. Wow, what a great movie..... made me cry a few times.... its a emotional movie, but the message is doing good for others while Sacrificing oneself. I closed my eyes during the last 10 mins, I tried blocking my ears, but that did not work.

Happy Thanksgiving Canada

2009-10-11T22:25:00.000-04:00

Wishing you all a very Happy Thanksgiving Day to you all
Hope everybody enjoys the day with their loved ones
I am spending the day with my parents

What Money can buy

2009-10-09T22:57:00.002-04:00

Money will buy

A bed but not sleep

Books but not brains

Food but not appetite

Finery but not beauty

A house but not a home

Medicine but not health

Luxuries but not culture

Amusement but not happiness

A crucifix but not a saviour

A church pew but not heaven

What money cannot buy, Jesus

Christ can give freely without charge

Is Jesus Christ your lord and Saviour? If not, you can get a new lease on life right now. Confess to God that you have sinned and that you want to turn from your sins to receive Jesus as Lord of your life. Through that step of believing faith you can start life afresh with your sins forgiven and a new life in Christ

(this was given to me today by a cancer patient whom I met during my chemo treatments)
Sorry I am not trying to preach/push religion, just thought some of you would enjoy this

women fighting is worse than two cats

2009-10-04T23:42:00.000-04:00

ok.......... it goes like this.....from my colon cancer yahoo group:
1st woman
I haven't posted on here as of yet because I really don't know what to say.

However, I feel like I must say something now. I joined this group mainly
because I have a friend who had/has colon cancer. She is a member of this group,
but, I will not bring her name up in this. I was there for her when nobody else
was calling her and she is a Christian. I was her friend for a little over 5
years and suddenly, she just decides that she can't be friends with me any
longer. How can a Christian do that to someone? I was there for her and she just
dumps our friendship this way. She saw my daughter in the store the other night
and just walked off and didn't say a word. My daughter came to the car crying. I
had a friend in High School whose mother had cancer. After her mother died, my
friend wanted nothing to do with the people she was friends with while her
mother was with cancer and alive. Why do people with cancer do this? I know
others do it too, but, two ppl have done this to me now and it hurts.
This person was my best friend. We shared so much together. Good and bad times.
Our families did things together and then 'poof' someone else is a better friend
to her than me? My children had no idea what to think because they love this
woman. We are all concerned for her and just want to know that she's alright. We
had no closure, no explanation, nothing. How can someone just walk away from a
long friendship that way, espeically when they proclaim to be a Christian? I
truly do miss her and wish she'd just talk to me. I also want her to know that
we pray for her and always wish her the best. Thank you for listening. Any advice?

2nd woman
Hi! Where to begin? The person Tina is talking about is me. I haven't read

anyone's responses to her. I would like to clarify a thing or two.

First, I really resent that she has been lurking on this list. She had been
asked to cease and desist any attempt to contact me, therefore her presence on
this list is stalking! She is not and has not been a part of my support system
for a long time. I choose not to slam her here. However, my family asked me to
end the relationship as it was time consuming and taking away from the strength
I've needed to heal. I was feeling that way for awhile. I don't post alot here
about all the issues I am dealing with right now above and beyond cancer.
I am so sorry to have upset her daughter as I love her much. I will not
return to this relationship. If the stalking continues, I will take serious
steps to end it.
I've emailed the list owner about this issues as Tina wasn't invited to invade
my privacy by lurking on this list.

3rd woman

Thought I would add my 2 cents on this. Have we forgot what is going on, this

person has cancer. Doesn't she have enough on her plate without all of this BULL

! It has been said you can't pick your family but you can pick your friends. I

will keep her in my prayers. Also I hope see can find peace and comfort on this

site. That is what it is for. If anybody is wondering Terry is not well at all.

Have nice evening.

4th woman
> How Stupid !! cut out yours Friend Just because of Cancer, ?? Never would do

that?? Friends are Important,

1st woman....the one who complained about woman dissing her
Just because someone has cancer, does not give them the right to be a jerk to

the people who love them and have cared about them the most. You are certainly

entitled to your opinion, but, you don't know this woman like I do. Thanks!!

MY OPINION......I THOUGHT SHE WAS A CHRISTAN, SHE CERTAINLY TURNED UGLY
Let's not forget the site is for cancer patients / family, who need support and comfort

things change

2009-10-02T20:49:00.000-04:00

When I was undergoing chemo , I was in better spirits and feeling a little more active. I started cancer rehab about 1 month now, which involves physiotherapy and I have no desire to go......
I don't feel motivated to go, I am always tired, not well under my skin....a very low, depressed state.
Its as they said, I was fighting cancer, I had something driving me, now I am always get plain tired
They also said, no matter what, I will always be a cancer patient .......
I have to excercise in order to feel better, makes sense, I don't have the drive
Seems like everything around me is falling apart

cold, no heat...................................I AM PISSED

2009-10-02T19:33:00.000-04:00

It's bloody cold here.... feels like winter and guess what, landlord has not put the heat on yet.....
Have socks, jeans, turtleneck and coat on still cold.....funny how they knock on your door for the rent on the first without fail.................................................I am pissed

Now doc wants me to go on anti depressants....... yes I am depressed....very

How Rude..I am pretty upset

2009-10-01T17:56:00.001-04:00

I had therapy today......just getting there made me tired. It seems everyday, I drag myself....I am always so tired, my hands are still giving me a hard time, getting into my purse seems to take forever....
After my appointment, I decided to do groceries , as clerk was clicking at cash...she told me to pack my bags......... ( most if not all, clerks pack your bags ) I mentioned that I was not well... she looked at me like I was nuts, I then said, I am not well, I have cancer....she gave me a dirty look and said " My dad had cancer and he had no problems with his groceries....I thought to myself like WT ? I got upset...I said I am not well , I was having a difficult time just doing my shopping and this girl is being rude....she said to me, if you have cancer shouldn't you be in the hospital or something?
I got more upset, I did not over re-act but she royally pissed me off, couldn't she just accept I did not have any strength left. I asked her " Would you like to see the doctors letter?

It........f.........sucks at times

2009-09-29T15:47:00.002-04:00

It struck me , we are all equal......everybody is born to families we like or don't like...... time goes by and then..... we leave this place. Nobody asks to be born, we just are.......we meet people, get a education, some marry, some don't , some have kids and some don't......do we really control our destiny? To a point, I guess we do and the rest just happens. Some things happen due to our own doing and some don't. Some are rich, some are poor, some of us have great friends and some of us, just find rotten apples along our journey. Life for some is wonderful....... and for some just a struggle. We laugh, we cry, we hurt, we celebrate, we fight, we forgive, we forget and the journey continues. Each new day is unpredictable, nobody knows what the new day will bring us, but yet we deal with , good or bad.
I just read a follow blogger's post........." Bad News"
I have to mention, she is the first person I met on yahoo colon cancer group, and she is the one who got me interested in this blogspot site. Reading her latest post, saddened me greatly.
This is what I commented on her post............

"Life is very unpredictable and doctors are there to help and save lives. We never know with cancer. Enjoy your cruise, enjoy your family, your grandkids. Some people are given months and they live for many years. Enjoy each day , stay strong, doctors are not God, only God decides. Many people have proved the doctors wrong. I realize its not good news and nobody wants to hear those words, but we have seen so many people live full lives with this illness.

I am saddened by your news, you are the first person I met on the colon cancer yahoo group, and I started my blog because of you. I hope you enjoy your cruise, and come back a fighter, stronger, and with hope and courage in your heart to fight this.

Live your life and keep fighting

My thoughts and prayers are with you Millie"

How does one deal with a life sentence? Its unbearable words to hear....but yet many people have heard these words and have to live and deal with our worse fear, death.
When death is knocking on our door, we have no other choice but to open the door....
A friend once told me, when we are born, we decide when to die....like " what drugs are you on? Does it make sense? I don't think so, but then again....who knows.
We have today, that is all we have......love those around us, enjoy the time we have " NOW" , tomorrow will be dealt with when it comes

The final years of Michael Jackson.....Unmasked by Ian Halperin

2009-09-29T15:22:00.000-04:00

I just finished reading the book......ummmm a little boring, focus was mostly on the trials. As per book, Michael was used, abused, lonely , isolated, gay.....a very lonely unhappy soul. I could see that. So the conclusion is that no matter how much money one has, does not bring you health nor happiness. Sounds like Michael had given up on life. It pains me. He did not want to do the 50 shows, it was supposed to be 10 shows, as Michael knew he was not physcially able to do all 50 shows, he was pushed and in the end he gave up. He was not well. RIP Michael

Couldn't but notice

2009-09-23T17:46:00.000-04:00

I am a big reader, I must read atleast 3-4 books a week...... for those of you who read a lot have you noticed, in every book....someone has cancer, or died of cancer on and on. No matter who the author is.....Steel, Bradford etc.....
They seem to always have someone in there dealing etc with cancer.
I guess this is what the world is today...........UNFORTUNATELY

Remission.........diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer

2009-09-22T02:04:00.000-04:00

I finally got a straight answer from my pivot nurse yesterday, I was diagnosed with stage 4...( I had alread figured it out myself ) but doctors told me I am not a textbook cause....what?
Looks like the tumor had Protruded from colon....and was considered stage 4.
and as we know it travelled to ovaries....but were removed. Now.....according to scans seems to be ok , for now.
What does remission mean? As far as I can see is that for now everything is ok, mind you I have a appointment with colon surgeron at the end of October, what will he see?
Seems that scans are good source of testing, but not the best, they can only see so much.
So remission means..... good now.....tomorrow is another story...... as I know and many of us know, it can always come back the question is when?
I am not being negative, but it seems, although we are in remission, there will always be that constant fear behind us..with us everyday.
I called my parents from hospital , of course I waited and waited for doctor, just sitting there waiting was bad enough....my mom sounded funny on phone....shaky.... I was fine when I heard the news, but once I called my anxious parents.....I got teary....she started crying on the phone and told me my dad was vomiting all morning waiting for my call....oh my...... this was so emotional for me. I felt bad putting them through this nightmare. I hate this..... dragging my parents through this journey.
I don't like to see them upset, but what can I do?
We go through the surgeries, chemo, etc...but we have loving family around us, and seeing them worry makes it harder , Since I was diagnosed they aged 20 years. I wish I could tell my 80 and 85 year old parents, I will live till I am 80, I will be married someday, be loved, and life will be beautiful. If only that were the case.
I would like to make them happy and not have to worry about me.
So now...... I have to look for a job.... that stresses me, I will probably not go back to the fashion industry...too stressful and they don't hire people who have been out of this industry for a long time......so now what?
That stresses me out, considering there are very little jobs available out there.
I don't have too many options, its a worry and how will I handle a full time job again after cancer? Its different if you have a office waiting for you, but I don't , I was not working when I was diagnosed.
Being 46, ill and unemployed is a problem..... I have to think hard about what I can do, and what I can handle.
The main thing is my health and my family, the rest shall follow....
Take one day at a time, mind you I have cancer rehab to finish.... I did no exercises for about 3 weeks, vacation, then the cold hit me....yes I still have it...

Pet Scan went great.......in remission

2009-09-21T16:35:00.000-04:00

Had oncology appointment today, scans are all ok. They found something in liver but doctor believes its from chemo. Have another appointment in October with colon surgeron, follow up of my colon to ensure no more cancer.,
Now I get to see the oncologist in another 3 months.,
So, does this mean everything is ok? I guess for now till I see the colon doctor.
I am grateful and thanking God and my family and my blog buddies for being there for me.
thank you all
Hugs

A year has gone by........hard to believe

2009-09-20T10:33:00.000-04:00

It's already been a year since I was diagnosed, hard to believe, 1 year already.
I still have my cold, its taking a long time to go away.....but feeling slightly better, my hands are still causing me much pain, was at hospital and they told me to massage my finger tips and hands, should help. Wow, are they ever painful and numb, weird feeling difficult to describe.
Did my pet scan, tomorrow I get the results......I am a little worried, who would not be.
The weather is getting colder and seems the home is even colder..... winter is fast approaching us.
I am not sleeping all that well, coughing a lot, a little stressed.
My cancer therapist asked me to go see her tomorrow after my results, in case its bad news.
I guess that is all for now.

Life

2009-09-17T12:33:00.000-04:00

As I sit here reading all the posts by fellow bloggers, it makes me wonder.....and ask myself
Why is there so much suffering? We do not realize how much is going on out there, till we see it or live it ourselves.
Life is difficult..........
I long for the days where I had a career, I would go to work everyday and do my job and I did it well.
Today battling cancer has stopped me from working, therefore, all I do is visit the hospital and go to cancer rehab. One's life changes overnight, nothing is ever the same. The past year had made me realize, anything can change, I have met so many wonderful people ( hospital staff )
My oncologist Dr.Rajan, Pivot nurse Suki, my colon surgeon Dr.Stein
All the nurses, secretaries, my therapist Kimberley, Head nurse Anne, Social worker Carmen and Barbara
And the list goes on.........One thing that cancer has done is given me the chance to have met these great people and if it wasn't for cancer, I wouldn't be here blogging.....something good has come out of it

Patrick Swayze Dies At 57 pancreatic cancer

2009-09-14T21:08:00.004-04:00

My heart is broken, Patrick Swayze has passed away at 57. He was a great dancer, and actor he will be greatly missed. He lost his battle with pancreatic cancer, it is so sad
He is well known for North and South, Dirty Dancing, Ghost and Roadhouse and his singing "She's like the wind"
I am so upset....he was a great man, with a big heart.....so many great people have lost their battle with cancer.
We have to find a cure............

God bless you Patrick

Remembering Anastasia DeSousa....Sept 13, 2006 tragic event in Montreal

2009-09-14T15:10:00.000-04:00

This post is dedicated to friends and family of Anastasia De Sousa who was shot and killed at Dawson College in Montreal on Sept.13, 2006
It has already been 3 years since she left us.
May you rest in peace

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anastasia_De_Sousa

Sunday with family....pet scan tomorrow

2009-09-13T20:49:00.000-04:00

I spent most of my day at my parents. My dad has a cold as well and he did not look good, I am worried. He is 85 and not as strong as before, he stayed away from family today, did not want us to catch his cold, mind you I have one already. I felt real bad for him today. The cold is hitting him hard. This season it seems colds are taking a toll on people, it is for me and my dad.
Tomorrow is pet scan day and not looking forward to that, it scares me what they will find. It will be my first pet scan since this nightmare started, on the 19th will be 1 year since I was diagnosed.
It seems just like yesterday, the diagnose, surgeries, draining of the lungs...chemo etc.... but it has already been almost 1 year. My sore hands and feet are a constant reminder of the fact I have cancer. I feel terribly weak these days don't know if its the cold or somethingelse.
Having good health is the best thing one can have in life, once our health fails, its a different life, attitude.
I now realize life ain't easy for a lot of people out there.

Peripheral Neuropathy

2009-09-11T22:24:00.002-04:00

I dragged myself to the hospital appointment today, I looked like what the cat dragged in. I was so tired and weak from this cold its not funny. I asked nurse if I could take tylenol and since I did not have a fever she agreed, it helped a little. All week I did not take anything not knowing what I could take because of chemo.
She checked my temperature and said if I have fever this weekend to go to a clinic and get checked for swine flu....like this is all I need. I told her about the pain in my hands due to chemo , its called
Peripheral Neuropathy......pamphlet explains this may begin as early as 24 hrs after 1st chemo and they are usually short lived. However they may last up to six months or more after your last treatment. Usually this will go away. Unfortunately, in some cases these symptoms may be permanent.
All I know is that my hands are more painful these days, my fingers are slightly swollen. I need to wear leather gloves these days when I am out and about.... it helps a little. Washing dishes, or taking a bath or shower is a nightmare. They want to test my hands next week to see the extent of nerve damage....
WHAT CAN MAKE YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE EASIER

use large diameter tools ( for example use a thick pen or pencil)
Tape pipe insulation around tools to increase the size of handles
Use a rubber thimble or pencil eraser to run pages of a book
Choose long necklaces that do not require opening the clasp
To open jars, use a rubber glove or pad to help grip it better
Attach the rough part of velcro to an object ( a glass or bottle)
Button your shirt before putting it on
Attach a paper clip or a piece of string to your zipper

The pleasures of chemo side effects
Did I mention typing is a nightmare.....

New season starts soon

2009-09-10T21:31:00.000-04:00

I am still feeling low and rundown due to my cold...oh well....tomorrow I am seeing the nurse and social worker where I go for physiotherapy...
Monday is my pet scan...wow....then the waiting for the results
I watched The Vampire Diaries tonight, was interesting...both are handsome ...... to be that young again.... if only we could go back to that age and know what we know now....lol
I can't wait to see Amazing Race, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives.
I wonder how this winter will be.....I dread it
Did you hear, Ellen is replacing Paula Abdul on American Idol..

You should see me now lol

2009-09-09T23:11:00.001-04:00

I am sitting here at my pc , wearing silly looking gloves because my hands are so sore. These are the gloves hospital gave me to wear whenever dealing with cold food from freezer or fridge. I can't handle the pain, its only getting worse. My hands are so very painful, feels like I've been out in -30 temperature and that my hands are frozen. How long will this pain last?
As you know I have a terrible cold.... seems to be worse than any other, since cancer, I spend my days in bed since Monday, here I was feeling good and then bang.....a cold. If you must know, gloves are not helping . Taking a shower or bath does not help either, when washing I feel like I am washing straw... my hair feels terrible against my hands as well as my body...Never a dull moment.
When things are good , they are very good, when bad, they are very bad......I am feeling sorry for myself....sorry.....
On another note I have not yet been paid for my cab receipts from the cancer society and I don't think I will either been close to two months since I sent out receipts....I am extremely disappointed in them. Another thing that bothers me is why don't they have commericals or ads with real patients? instead of actors? The most realistic one is for Princess Margaret Hospital in Toronto
Sorry I am bitching but it makes me wonder ...........

Now I am pissed

2009-09-09T06:05:00.000-04:00

I am more saddened than pissed, no ok, I am pissed. Since I started blogging, I have come across many other bloggers, wonderful people via this technology we call internet.
It boogles my mind to read so many other stories about their suffering, endurance, courage, strength, saddness. I can't believe how many of us are battling cancer or other serious illnesses.
I have found people have strength, perservance, what else can we do? We have been dealt with this card and we have to accept what is, is.
It upsets me to see so many people suffering out there, true I never met these people in person, but its a good thing to communicate with others who have been there or are there. I believe it helps everybody in the long run, or if its for the short run. When I was first diagnosed, I didn't know where to run to, I kept to myself, researched only so much on net about cancer, there is only so much you could read....right? Every cancer is different, as every one person is different and unique, we can't compare. I decided to stop researching anything on cancer on the net. It was too much. I don't do it anymore.
The question I ask myself is why so many of us are inflicted with cancer. The air, food? what?
I am not driving so I tend to take cabs or the public transit to get around and it struck me , they have front seats for the elderly, etc...one day I was with a bunch of grocery bags, I had just had my second surgery, not feeling my best when a woman walks in and rudely says to me, aren't you giving me your seat? Well, yes, but shouldn't I have access to this seat as well? I have cancer.... how do they know how I am feeling? Am I tired, in pain etc...true I don't have a cane , I am not a senior, I did give my seat, but someone on here mentioned the same thing happened to them and I wondered......
What pisses me off, is that so many people have to live with cancer..... it not only changes you, it changes your life. People bitch and complain about stupid non important things, and here we are trying to survive , do our daily things, groceries, laundry, cleaning and since I have been diagnosed, I don't bitch about lineups or minor inconviences, ok, maybe I do a little, I am human. At times, the little things make me cry, out of nowhere, I get teary, ok, not out of nowhere, we wonder how much time do we have left? where will I be in 3, 6, 9 months....will I see my sister, my nephews, etc again?
The future is unknown to us all, but especially for us.
Do I want to see all my old friends ? The answer is no, as one doctor said to me, we soon realize after being diagnosed, we never had anything in common. Mind you I have many reasons not to see these people again, it was a decision I made long time ago.....soon 1 year will have gone by since diagnosed and I am sticking to my decision, might not be the right one, but its one I made.

Had to happen.......

2009-09-08T06:11:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I mentioned I spend the day with a old friend, the day was warm and sunny, I sat in the sun a little, can't stay in the sun too long, yes I had sun block, my nurse gave me shit about that lol
Anyway, towards the evening, I sat outside in his backyard and watched tv..... bad move, I came home with a terrible sore throat, I knew I was catching a cold....and yes...I tossed all night...hardly slept...here I am up at 6am....feeling like crap, first for me catching a cold since cancer, I am sure won't be too pleasant.
Sore throat, and blocked nose, what joy
I had a bad dream about my other friend, the one who was here everynight and then disappeared....I dreamt, he bumped into me at a shop, but I was in the nurses office and we had a huge fight , can't figure out what it meant....
I am sitting here enjoying my coffee trying to alleviate my sore throat.

Spent the day with a old friend

2009-09-07T23:33:00.000-04:00

I met my friend Rene today, we had lunch, went up to the mountain and enjoyed the weather. It was great seeing him again, I should of done it a long time ago, but I was not ready. I was angry, frustrated etc and was not well at all. It turned out ok in the end. I did not cry nor shed a tear, I was good today lol. I thought I would start crying etc but I did not.
Its a good feeling to see a old true friend. Unlike people who pretend to be your friend but who are not.
I had too many of those in the recent past.
After the mountain we went to his place and we watched Sugar Sammy on TV, the guy was so funny.
He is from Montreal and he is extremely on the ball concerning the difference between the anglos and french here.... I posted two of his myspace videos... wish he had posted the Montreal show, it was too too funny.
Hope you enjoy Sugar Sammy.

Sugar Sammy Comedy Now 2/3 Video by Sugar Sammy - MySpace Video

2009-09-07T23:05:00.002-04:00

Sugar Sammy Comedy Now 2/3 Video by Sugar Sammy - MySpace Video

Shared via AddThis

BEWARE: adult content, crude, sex ...............

Sugar Sammy Comedy Now 1/3 Video by Sugar Sammy - MySpace Video

2009-09-07T23:04:00.002-04:00

You must check this guy out...he is too funny

Sugar Sammy Comedy Now 1/3 Video by Sugar Sammy - MySpace Video

Shared via AddThis

BEWARE: Adult content, crude, sex

Catching up.....and feeling the joy of having a great family

2009-09-06T23:49:00.000-04:00

Been busy reading past week posts, great to read them all. I was not online during my out of town trip. I am happy to be back home.
A friend of mine left me a message while I was away and I finally called him back after a few months, I feel like I could now, move on and see him again. I figured I did not want too many people seeing me go through the chemo days and emotionally I was a ness ,I believe I did the right thing, now...I feel a little stronger and emotionally I am able to see an old friend again, mind you I have known this friend since I was 6 years old and its time to see him again.... I figure, I am here today and I should enjoy quality time with a old dear friend. Life is short, mind you, I do not take shit from anybody no more....I speak my mind, if I feel anyone is talking stupid or hurt my feelings, I let them go.
I warned him I look atleast 10 years older so he won't be shocked.
My side effects seem to be getting worse, my hands are painful and most times numb, typing is very painful. oh well, gotta accept it. I wish to do something great, meaningful, but don't know what....
I wish I had my old career waiting for me, but it is not...so no job. It scares me when I think of going back to work, don't know when, and what kind of job awaits me. It is scary. Times are tough out there and it is stressing me out. Seems all I do these days is go to the hospital and back. In a couple of weeks will be one year since I was diagnosed, I don't know how I did it, sometimes I sit back and remember the two surgeries, the chemo and I find it hard to believe I did it. I am thankful for all those of you who were there for me, it helped me, and I realized I was not alone, it seems cancer is a lonely place, but with the help of you...I managed and we all know how difficult it is.
My past week was spent with the people I love dearly...yes I got teary eyed at times, there were some rough moments, my did my crying and then realized how lucky I was to have this time with my sister, her 3 sons, and her grandson. It was all good.

back home, home sweet home

2009-09-06T21:08:00.001-04:00

I am back home, had a great time with my family
Enjoyed my time with my great nephew, what a beautiful little boy, love him, he is wonderful
Great to be home, no place like home

Presently on my trip out of town........feels good

2009-09-01T12:10:00.000-04:00

I am presently on route on my trip out of town. Scenery is beautiful, its great sitting here being able to use my laptop. I have a pleasant woman sitting next to me....
I am here for another 5 hours....It feels good getting away, feeling independant again. This trip will do me good. Haven't been out to visit my sister in years, she came out since I've been ill atleast 3 times, its my turn to go there and visit with my nephews and great nephew.
I will enjoy being around family, I spend much to much time by myself and it not only get boring, but very lonely.
I will be online during my stay there.... I will keep myself up to date on all you bloggers

Did they find the cure? Ray of hope? or what

2009-08-30T19:19:00.001-04:00

My friend sent me this info from yahoo.ca

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

News Home > Health News> Tick saliva could hold....
Tick saliva could hold cancer cure: Brazilian scientists Module body

Fri Aug 28, 5:06 PM

SAO PAULO (AFP) - It may be one of nature's repulsive little blood-sucking parasites, but the humble tick could yield a future cure for cancers of the skin, liver and pancreas, Brazilian researchers have discovered.

They have identified a protein in the saliva of a common South American tick, Amblyomma cajennense, that apparently reduces and can even eradicate cancerous cells while leaving healthy cells alone.

"This is a radical innovation," said Ana Marisa Chudzinski-Tavassi, the molecular biologist at the Instituto Butantan in Sao Paulo who is leading the research.

"The component of the saliva of this tick... could be the cure for cancer," she told AFP.

She said she stumbled on the properties of the protein, called Factor X active, while testing the anti-coagulant properties of the tick's saliva -- the way it stops blood thickening and clotting so the tick can keep gorging itself on its host.

The protein shares some characteristics with a common anti-coagulant called TFPI (Tissue Factor Pathway Inhibitor), specifically a Kunitz-type inhibitor which also has been shown to interfere with cell growth.

A theory that the protein might have an effect on cancerous cells led to laboratory tests on cell cultures -- which exceeded all expectations.

"To our surprise it didn't kill normal cells, which were also tested," Chudzinski-Tavassi said. "But it did kill the tumorous cells that were being analyzed."

In her modest lab in the institute, housed in a rundown building, a line of immobile bloated ticks could be seen lined up with straws under their heads.

The small amounts of saliva captured that way was reproduced many times over in yeast vats so that tests could be carried out on lab rats with cancer.

The results have been more than promising.

"If I treat every day for 14 days an animal's tumor, a small tumor, this tumor doesn't develop -- it even regresses. The tumor mass shrinks. If I treat for 42 days, you totally eliminate the tumor," the scientist said.

Producing a medicine from the find, though, will require years of clinical tests and a significant financial investment -- neither of which Brazil is geared to provide.

Chudzinski-Tavassi has applied for a patent on the tick protein, and is presenting her team's discovery in medical journals and conferences around the world.

But she says moving beyond her lab "proof of concept" will be frustratingly difficult.

"To discover this is one thing. To turn it into a medicine is a whole other thing entirely," she said.

Sunday, at mom's and dad's

2009-08-30T19:08:00.000-04:00

Today, I went to visit my parents since I will be out of town this coming week.
I enjoyed the visit , my brother showed up as did my cousins. Was a nice change. I enjoy spending time with my parents.
I wanted to go see them, so that they see I am doing ok. Much better than last few months.
Tomorrow I start my exercise at the cancer rehab, should be fun, and I get to meet other cancer patients. I am looking forward to that.

Starting writing my life story

2009-08-28T20:59:00.002-04:00